New song needs critical ears

[Mike]

I wrote this song for the Dutch market and want to use it as a demo for the R&D pro's. This is the first mix of the song (Cubase SX) and when rendering a mixdown there apeared a "plop" in the intro. That's not part of the song though and I will try to get rid of that. I wrote the original lyrics in Dutch but I translated them to English just for you to get a better picture of the whole.

I hope you will take a listen and shoot at the song from all angles. Please give me critics, hints and tips to make all "work" for the R&D-folks.

Thanks in advance

Mike

[Wyatt]

when rendering a mixdown there apeared a "plop" in the intro. That's not part of the song though and I will try to get rid of that.

Hi Mike,

I had that happen to me once in Audition..mine was sort of a splat.  ..audio that didn't belong there. I mixed down a second time and it was fine.

You did a great job on this song.

Wyatt

[kara]

Nothing to shoot at here 
Nice song, good production

I'll be curious about the Dutch version 

k

[folderol]

Agree with the others. You've set yourself a high bar with the song style, and you reached it.

The style reminds me somewhat of Gene Pitney - only you don't have a squeaky voice

[MarioD]

I agree with the others.

There is nothing wrong with this song, i.e. great vox, instrumentation and production.

[Oren]

Mike,

Is it possible the "R&D pros" you are referring to are what we call the "A&R (artist and reperatoire) people" at a music production/publication company?

If you are planning to submit this song as a finished product to the music industry, I could make some recommendations regarding performance and production.
If you are planning to submit the song as a "song idea", and have the industry professionals produce it with one of their performers, some recommendations are also in order.

I may have mistaken your intentions.
We discuss amateur music here (although many of the participants on this site write and record at a very professional level), and by those standards it is a good effort.
However, if you intend to take this song into the professional music world, a whole different set of standards will apply.

Oren.

[Mike]

Thank you all for the listen and the kind comments.

Oren, I am indeed referring to the A&R people (language-issue, my mistake)
This is indeed my very first shot as an starting amateur songwriter to have a song of my own put in the professional market. It's my intention to use this demo as a "song idea". The version to be released in the market is to be re-recorded in a pro-studio by pro's where I will be the singer and performer.
Ofcourse I want the demoversion to sound as professional and catching as possible to persuade the A&R-people to invest time, money and resources in my product.
So I welcome any recommendation you can give me!

Thanks,

Mike

[Oren]

In general, what the A&R people want to hear is exactly what you're promoting. They listen to thousands of songs, and have very little time. The "demo" has to grab their attention within the first 15 seconds, or they'll turn it off and move on to the next song.

In your case, Mike, you are promoting singing skills, and songwriting skills.

You would be wise to completely re-do the presentation, specifically as a "demo".
Remove the guitar parts. Simplify the drum parts, and combine them with some tasteful piano and bass lines. (Fortunately, BIAB does some very nice piano and bass backing tracks, and it sounds like you have RealDrums.)
Shorten the song as much as possible while still including all the verses and choruses.
Perform your vocal with as much control and expression as you can - it should sound great without any backing instruments.
Consider doing the first verse with just your voice and the piano, keeping the introduction very short (or get rid of it altogether) - you want to capture the attention of the listener right away. Ideally the first thing they should hear is your voice.

If you re-record the song with these ideas in mind, it will have the best chance of being heard by the record company producers.

I hope this is helpful 

[Mike]

Thanks Oren!!!
This is indeed verry helpful to me
I understand now that a demo should be more like a 15-second comercial instead of a complete song-layout.
So I've got my work cut out for me: I'll make a complete new recording with the specs of a demo. As soon as that is finished I will post it here.

Thanks again!!!

Mike

[Laguna Rising]

I understand now that a demo should be more like a 15-second comercial instead of a complete song-layout.
So I've got my work cut out for me: I'll make a complete new recording with the specs of a demo. As soon as that is finished I will post it here.

Apart from the commercial demo thing, which requires squeezing out of a song all the juice, I think this is a very nice track and I like the arrangements and guitar playing although I'm not really fond of this mainstream music.
I think this a nice idea for a track and I hope someone will invest time and money on you
Other people on this forum gives you the advice and I agree 100%

Cheers

[Wyatt]

@Oren:

Excellent advice.

Wyatt