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Talvin
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« on: June 08, 2007, 01:44:37 PM » |
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Hi folks! This is an uptempo song I started months ago and I never finished...until now. This is a first, early demo. I just did one or two vocal takes to lay down the song. Please have a listen and tell me what you think can be done to improve the song. Cheers,  Tal |
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« Last Edit: June 16, 2007, 12:56:48 PM by Talvin »
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FourthMansions
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« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2007, 08:02:06 PM » |
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Hi Talvin
This strikes me as a very nice piece of work (especially for an early demo.) The melody is good, with a strong chorus, and it's very well sung. My only real suggestion for improvement would be to have a longer middle section and perhaps strip back the instrumentation more in the middle section to provide more of a contrast. But even as it stands, it's an impressive song - thanks for sharing it.
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Laguna Rising
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« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2007, 08:48:48 AM » |
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Hi Talvin sometimes your demos sound better than my finished tracks...  This is a good SONG in the classic meaning of the word, I always like your vocals line, and expressive singing. Your syle is well defined and recognizable. I like the use of both the guitars: the clean and the filtered one. I can think of any different solution to make it better  Cheers |
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kara
Kara-Moon, a site built by and for musicians
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« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2007, 07:04:00 AM » |
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Since you ask for comments to make it better.... - I would bring the vox a tiny bit more upfront. - That bassplayer doesn't realy listen to his drummer in some spots ex. the breaks. But don't worry about that, nobody will notice this, except for bass payers perhaps. Top song  |
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Talvin
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« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2007, 10:25:04 AM » |
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Thanks for listening and the suggestions. I might do some minor changes in a future version.
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Talvin
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« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2007, 11:55:45 AM » |
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I'm thinking abou a future version at the mom. Would you either reduce the synths, reduce the guitars or -more or less- leave the song at what is now soundwise.
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kara
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« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2007, 06:51:12 PM » |
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Thsi is the only thing I would do : Since you ask for comments to make it better.... - I would bring the vox a tiny bit more upfront. - That bassplayer doesn't realy listen to his drummer in some spots ex. the breaks. But don't worry about that, nobody will notice this, except for bass payers perhaps. Top song |
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Talvin
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« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2007, 10:52:22 AM » |
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Yep, Kara. I'll do that. What about an even faster (kinda) punk version??  |
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kara
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« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2007, 11:37:40 AM » |
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ouch, in a previous live I used to eat punkers for breakfast What about an even faster (kinda) punk version?? |
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Talvin
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« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2007, 05:54:05 AM » |
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Ok, no punk version then.  |
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Talvin
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« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2007, 12:44:13 PM » |
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OK. Here comes version 2.0. Please have another listen and tell me what you think.
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Talvin
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« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2007, 09:55:22 PM » |
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Oh, come on. Please have another listen.  |
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Laguna Rising
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« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2007, 10:11:18 PM » |
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Now I'm sure: You're a perfectionist. (and I'm not...)
The other version was already fine for me, but with this new mix it's even better.
I had to listen to the older one to compare the two.
This one's pretty cool, it sounds brighter, voice seems to have a different eq, perhaps a diff reverb ?
I noticed a great guitar sound, you know, when you make a small change in a mix it affects all the other instruments.
There's nothing more to say: just fine
Cheers
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kara
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« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2007, 09:03:26 AM » |
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A perfect example of how small changes to the mix turn a good song in a perfect song. Great job, don't touch it anymore A keeper for me, thanks for sharing k |
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drboomboom
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« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2007, 10:50:08 PM » |
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It's beautiful, balanced well. Good song, well written, performed, recorded and sung, gives me a nice emotional response.
The only thing I noticed, and it's a very small nit, is in the ending, the electric guitar cuts off just a little abruptly for me...sounded almost as if you cut it off with your hand on the strings. This may have been the cheap headphones I use on the laptop, and may sound fine to me on decent speakers.
Very nice.
Mike
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